My Blog

Aug07-Am I stupid??

Little messages came in from friends… hey..your bday coming up. how are u going to celebrate?

Honestly, I dont know… I m not much in the mood to plan for it. On Thursday, Mindee be baking me a cake (pray she wont get heart attack rushing for the cake for me), then we have woman’s thingy. I think at night, Naomi be planning something for me.

Tuesday..I think Weecus be doing something also… WEdnesday, I m not sure.

I just had my lunch at 645pm. Ya… dunno why so late.

Before that, I was so tired, I had bouts of black out and I decide to lay horizontal.

Now.. I wonder if I m Honestly OK?

HAve you heard of Dido’s Song, Honestly OK?

Honestly.. I m not Ok..

The phone beeped in the silence of night, I was wide awake that time, was it almost 2am? "..passed away", she wrote. Hurt indeed, I felt. I could almost feel her shattered, though I m not there. THe feeling of losing someone so dear. It might be the end of his pain and suffering, yet, we can never let go of things that remain dear to us. Life is so short, nature’s cruel. 

The chairs are void of the once familiar faces,…. I cringed in fear when I see the pool at times, it sent chills on my spines… fear of drowning takes over me at times.

I couldnt bear the thought of someone saying that I took revenge. It so unreasonable of him. I decided to stow away the item, and just focus on other things… its just short term rest period, meanwhile.. I guess… i need to sort myself out. Please dont ask me questions why am I behaving like this, and dont expect me to reply you people, I am tired and exhausted of explaining and giving reasons… too tired. Thank you for ur concern, truly appreciated.

I  lost my appetite after breakfast, until 6pm..forced myself, and I ate rotibakar and eggs, with milk tea. Realised that gastric is my 2nd worst fear. I just ate some chicken with a few bites of rendang and rice…and stowed half away in the fridge at 1140pm… I can feel my stomach aching a bit.. Gastric is painful to me… so is rejection is my next fear too. 

Not asking for self pity, I m not in a mood at the moment…

There is no secret to weight loss, the drastic drop since August 07 week following the quarrel with Porkchops. Left me sad and confused. But I have also been working hard for my knee rehabilitation exercise to gear myself for my instructorship. I have to put aside, my fun at the pool, its too shortlived.. kind of reminds me of Before Sunrise. Shortlived.

I need a break . When I m there, flash back. I might ask my friends to bring me in another gym, as they have gotten me the passes to join them since one to three months ago. Yeah, they are holding the passes till now.

Lie about age? Grow up! I dont want to tell anyone about my age, its not glorious, and if I told them, they will gasp, and tell me , that I m kidding them..so on and so on lar…..so, I let them predict my age, and my friends ended up requesting me for my IC. Spot check!

Too much distraction, my three months rehabilitation has come to an end. Three months of so many experiences..the fall, the pain, the agony, the restlessness, struggle, healing, joy, pain, gain, lost , confused, another healing, but i found a few new friends…

This month,couldnt help but notice that my number of views has become 311 till 23rd September 07. Last months, it was 100 to 200.

Today,I bumped to someone very familiar looking… omg… The world is getting smaller? This year, I bumped to Mindee. She was standing behind me, at Rain’s concert and they had a snapshot of me.. and then, we both looked at each other in the friendster..hey..we have similar looking terriers and realised.. hey… we were both there, same time, same day.

Finally, I managed to visit Datuk’s project..his mega project. Pavilion.. which to me,seemed to be like a face which has gone through the knifes of many reknowned plastic surgeons..literally, by saying that, they have employed a number of architects to make this place.. memorable.

As I drove in the car park, one will not resist to check out the fees…bad news- its almost like KLCC’s pricing. THe parking lots well lited and not too difficult to locate though they said they will improve on making each zone easier to recognise…hmm… I thought that MV’s parking is really like a maze sometimes.

As I walked up to the mall, I couldnt help but felt that, I might have revisited a part of Pacific Place,Hong Kong. The corridors are spacious, and the designer shops are abundant (eh..no prada). I m a sucker for Prada, and ARmani. But I wont shop till I drop…window shopping only for things above RM300. If u notice the picture here. Aigner has two shops, downstairs and upstairs.. The shops are designed in a way, that there is a staircase downstairs that leads shoppers up to second level in the shop itself. The concept applies to most of the " designer" stores in Pavilion.

This is the concourse area.. where the high fashion runaway model parades.

As I was walking pass, I finally found this shop! Juicy Couture!! Not opened yet.. Tenancy wise, at the moment, there are only 50% opened. The rest are still rushing their shops to be opened next month.

Pavilion houses some of the international brands-to name a few- Kiehl’s, Reef, Guess, Club Monaco, Gap, Mossimo Dutti, Juicy Couture, Coast-London, Banana Republic, Mook, Adidas Performance, Adidas,Club Monaco, Marc By Marc Jacobs, Tiffany, Coach, 2 storeys of - Boss, Aigner, Topshop, Esprit.

Eye catching Coach’s shop banner occupying two floors . The main entrance is very impressive, the height is 5-6 floors with the name PAVILION proudly lifted up at the topmost level of the entrance. Neverthe less, I was being brought to Jaguar’s showroom.. and here is this lovely sports Jaguar… I love sports car.. XK..How much ah? RM1million approximately.

Ok.. I havent visited the lane where there will be places for clubbing and drinking. Meanwhile, Food republic is still under renovation. Wait till next month, at the moment, nothing much to eat, except for Tony Roma’s, 2 japanese restaurant, Madam Kwan (should be soon), Crystal Jade Restaurant, some dessert shops (Milky Lane from South Africa), Bread Talk.. There will be a dim sum restaurant, I m not sure of the name. Star bucks, is located at Adidas floor level. Parkson Pavilion is catered for the upper market… hehe, I bought my lingerie there last night. I had over dosed of donuts.. guilty.. J. Co.. one of the best tasting donuts I tried.. I prefer the oreos n peanut covered top. I guess I months to come, Pavilion will offer more exciting shops to come… sans the parking fees. I left and paid RM11.50. Go park outside… or take the monorail, or car pool. Dont tell my boss that I said so.

Before Sunrise is a 1995 drama film directed by Richard Linklater and written by Linklater and Kim Krizan.

The movie follows Jesse, a young American on his way to Vienna to catch a flight back home after a traumatic break-up, and Celine, a young French woman traveling back to Paris to attend school at La Sorbonne after having visited her grandmother in Budapest. They meet on a train and after talking for a while, Jesse convinces Celine to get off the train with him at Vienna so they can spend more time together.

The plot is minimalist, since aside from walking and talking, not much happens. The two characters’ ideas, perspectives on life, love, reincarnation, etc. are detailed and thought out. Jesse is a romantic disguised as a cynic, and Celine seemingly a romantic though with some doubts. Taking place over the course of one night, their limited time together is always on their minds, and leads to their revealing more about themselves than they normally would, since both believe they will never see one another again. Of note these characters appear again in another film by the same director, Waking Life.

In 2004 a long awaited sequel titled Before Sunset was released from the same director and cast, and reprising the original concept.

Synopsis

The movie starts with Jesse meeting Celine on a train to Paris. They strike a conversation in the train. Jesse is going to Vienna whereas Celine is on her way to Paris after visiting her grandmother.

When they reach Vienna, Jesse asks Celine to accompany him in Vienna. Jesse convinces Celine by saying that after 10 or 20 years down the road, she might not be happy with her marriage and might wonder how it would have been if she had picked another guy, and this is a chance to realize that he himself is not that different from the rest. In his words, he is "the same boring unmotivated guy." Jesse has to catch a flight early in the morning and doesn’t have enough money to rent a room for the night, so they decide to roam around in Vienna. They exchange some peculiar observations on life and love in general.

Sometime through the night they click romantically and end up sleeping together in the park. The movie ends the next day at the train station, where the two agree to meet together at the same place in six months.

Tossing n turning.. cant sleep. Tears rolled down my cheeks…. since when.. so much.. for an hour.. or more?? tears trickled down my cheeks gently…finally, the tears came down.. in abundance. Took 1/4 of tablet to help me rest.. it didnt work.

If I were to take the "depression" test, S once gave me.. I guess I would have failed it now. That time, he said he was very depressed. Now I m feeling very depressed.

I wonder if I can kick myself out of my depression mode and go back to sleep. It just comes…

I m felt like a little gal who has lost her little teddy bear.

Pavilion soft opening on the 20th September.. I had eaten something bad the day before , I think its the curry chicken and kunyit from Angeline’s full moon box. My stomach was in pain… from the upper abs, travelling down.. and lingering pain.  I was in pain for several hours… and I couldnt sleep until 6 30am..I sat down and logged on, waiting for the pain to go away.

I couldnt wake up on time, for the opening at 9am. I didnt know that the event went until 10pm. They were there, but they were too busy, networking,and apparently a lot of disputes going on between the management and the tenants.

Most of my colleagues (though high post) were not aware of the programs… shitty.. there is miscommunication… Anyways, I was asked to go there soon… hmm…yea!

My date was late for movie with me.. so I was dissappointed and went to practise for 2 hours. The guys were sitting near me for some minutes watching me dance. First time, they came and sat next to me… as my speakers blasted noisily. Finally, I went for supper date and was so hungry.. my diet’s spoilt.

Anyways, I be meeting up with M T for training on Monday. Cool.